oh dear, it's been a very long (and extremely rollercoaster-y, eventful) while. let's get down to business, and storytime can come later. i'm telling you all my secrets again. but this is  less a hat pattern and more of a hat recipe, anyway.

i have a hat thing. i wear a lot of them. i like all type of hats, big and small, slouchy and fitted, loud and understated. i love cables, i love stripes, i love big crazy beehive art yarn hats. i love everything from alpaca to acrylic to cashmere to cat hair (that happened, once, and it's a story i'll save for another day.)

i have a favorite hat, though. a hat i've knitted a million times. it's easy, it's quiet, it's probably my favorite thing. it uses regular old worsted weight yarn, so even if you're out in the middle of BFE, you can find this--you know, like at a feed store. a hardware store, if you don't have a feed store. a yarn store if you're high falutin' and whatnot. this is a training wheels easy hat that could probably be made of spaghetti and still look amazing. it makes a wonderful charity cap, too, and you can size it as needed.  i digress. let's get to hat-making!

my favorite hat recipe: around the head in 80 stitches, now on ravelry!

120-200 yards (109-183 meters) worsted weight yarn (my standby, cascade 220 works well here, but try madelinetosh dk or even something like jade sapphire 4-ply mongolian cashmere for ultimate luxury)
US size 7 (4.5 mm) 16" circular or double pointed knitting needles for hat body
US size 5 (3.75 mm) or US size 6 (4.0 mm) 16" circular or double pointed knitting needles for ribbing
US size 7 (4.5 mm) DPNs for crown closure
one stitch marker
darning or yarn needle for finishing

the secret: cast on in multiples of 8. size up and down as needed.

ribbing: for a women's medium, co 80 stitches onto US size 5 16" circulars using your favorite stretchy cast on for k1p1 ribbing; join round and place stitch marker for beginning of round. k1p1 for approximately 8-10 rounds, until you have 1" of ribbing.

body: switch to US size 7 (4.5 mm) knitting needles before you start the body, for best fit. knit stockinette (read: just knit stitch, yay!) in the round until the body of the hat measures 8" in the center. begin your decreases.

crown: when your hat reaches 8" in body length, ensure that you still have 80 stitches on your needles, switch to size 7 DPNs and begin decreases using the kN ssk method as follows:

decrease round 1: *k6, ssk* to end of row.
decrease round 2: knit all stitches to end of row.
decrease round 3: *k5, ssk* to end of row.
decrease round 4: knit all stitches to end of row.
decrease round 5: *k4, ssk* to end of row.
decrease round 6: knit all stitches to end of row.
decrease round 7: *k3, ssk* to end of row.
decrease round 8: knit all stitches to end of row.
decrease round 9: *k2, ssk* to end of row.
decrease round 10: knit all stitches to end of row.
decrease round 11: *k1, ssk* to end of row.
decrease round 12:  knit all stitches to end of row
final round: break working yarn with approximately 2-3 yards left; thread through large-eye yarn darning needle and run through remaining stitches. cinch small; weave in ends. wash and block, or just pop it on your head. done and done.

happy hatting!